A Gent's Outlook

A Literary Agent Divulges the TRUTH about Publishing

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Great Debate That Really Isn't

Okay, so I post about something that is actually IMPORTANT in publishing, and all I get are e-mails asking me about the Snark/Anne Stuart thing. As if I care. As if anyone in the real publishing world cares.

You want my take on it? Here it is: Finally, someone (Jennifer “I can’t stop writing chick-lit though it’s dead” Crusie) in publishing who uses her real name and who has clout with the wannabe crowd has basically said what I have said all along. Snark is full of shit. She makes statements that make it obvious that she doesn’t really understand publishing and how it works. I don’t care if she’s in it or not, she doesn’t “get” it. The biggest clue is that she hangs with the watchpuppies and most agents could care less about watchpuppies and their drivel because it is just not part of the overall entertainment picture. You get scammed? Fuck you, wannabe. That’s just one more piece of goddamn slush that I don’t have to deal with. That’s what most insiders think. Big fucking deal. No one but a wannabe publishing power freak offers free advice to wannabes based on the idea that getting into publishing only requires desire and meeting certain standards created by the SFWA, like they matter any more than anybody else in the fucked up kingdom known as the Realm of Publishing.

As I see it, people across Cyberville are finally cluing in to the fact that Snark is mouthpiecing the core values propagated by the watchpuppies and their related industry outsiders. Other publishing people, LIKE ME, couldn’t give a shit less what anybody thinks except talented writers and the publishers who seek to exploit them. I have seen lots of comments, finally, from editors and other agents who are basically saying that Snark is on a very wrong tangent. She always has been, but nobody important said anything because SNARK JUST DOESN”T MATTER. Except to the minions she has created through her Dr. Phil Does Publishing persona. When she dipped into an area she really doesn't know anything about, she fell flat on her pretty little snout.

But the reason she matters to me is that she is one of many people who continue to encourage people to write for publication who should be writing for a hobby. So do the watchpuppies. So do the solicitous agents and editors feeding off of wannabes. These people are sucking the life from my industry, as I have mentioned many times, and my advice is for writers to go figure the fuck out what they think they are doing. Like any wannabe, their presence changes the dynamic of the entity to which they pledge their allegiance. And sometimes it is not for the best, dragging down those who buy into their bullshit. For example, I give you…

George W. Bush—President Wannabe
Judy Regan—Celebrity Publishing Wannabe
O.J. Simpson—Serial Killer Wannabe
Snark—Agent Wannabe
Dick Cheney—Human Wannabe
Arnold Schwarznegger—Android Wannabe
Michael Richards—Comedian Wannabe
Angelina Jolie—Activist Wannabe
Brad Pitt—I’m Fucking an Activist Wannabe
Paris Hilton—Celebutant Wannabe
Karen Hughes—Anybody Important Wannabe
Bill Frist—Doctor Wannabe (Seriously, after that whole Terri Schiavo thing, would you let him touch you?)
SammyK—Isabella’s Sex Slave Wannabe
George Clooney—Marriagable Material to Get Nook Wannabe

And I am not the only one who thinks these things. Here is part of an e-mail from a writer using the name The Casual Observer, who is probably a whacko freakazoid, but what the hell…

Who is the real Miss Snark? Is she or is she not a real agent? Who cares? Personally, I believe she is Jenna of Absolute Write fame. I think this because when AW was in trouble, Snark was right there defending those speaking out against the injustice of such a thing. How dare they do this and that!. Most of us, those of us with a brain anyway, where hoping it would stay shut down. Just so much more crap that no one cared about anyway—no one except Jenna and friends.

I have also noticed that each time anything watchdogerish is in the forefront that Miss Snark is right there, defending all those who might get scammed. In my opinion, the only folks concerned about getting scammed are wannabes, as you have testified to many times.

The bottom line is that I don’t agree that Miss Snark is Janet Reid. A real agent would care less about watchdogs. So whoever this person is they have to somehow be connected to Jenna, AW or the SFWA. My thinking right now is that Snark is either Jenna or Victoria Strauss. Why? Because of their very close ties to AW and SFWA. This is my guess. Anyone want to refute it?

I get this shit all the time. I also get stuff like this:

I think you’re a male chauvinist pig. I don’t think you have sex with anyone but yourself. I wouldn’t have sex with you if you were the last man on the planet.

And this…

Why don’t you have a pet like Miss Snark? Your blog would be so much better if you had a dog or something. Miss Snark has a Chihuahua and can prove it. (What?)

So, now that I have put my opinion to rest on this most recent pathetic excuse for a scandal, can we get back to whether News Corporation should have cancelled the O.J. book and interview? Think 1st amendment, people. Would we have burned those books if they had been published? Is censorship an issue real writers should worry about? Nah, they’re too busy reading Snark.



  • At 8:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I guess you're not feeling the mascot idea.

    I understand Fox, Regan and all these corporations are in it to make money but at some point, don't you draw your line and say, you know what, this shit isn't for me. It's wrong; the victim has people who are going to be pained by this, etc. All that money stays right the fuck here when you drop dead so something else has to be more important. We're not talking about a book that's going to impact social change or add anything significant to literature, here.

  • At 8:15 AM, Blogger Dave Kuzminski said…

    Then SammyK, you're missing the point. No one has stated among our group, since you place us all in one, that everyone has a right to be published. That's the motto of PublishAmerica and numerous other scams. What our group has stated is that a writer can be published if the writer's book is good enough. Big difference there.

    Anyway, I seriously believe that you don't condone the idea that it's right for someone to come up and pick your pocket while you're working over the keyboard with your latest paramour. We feel that publishing scams are equivalent to that. Both are morally wrong.

  • At 10:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Miss Snark is NOT Jenna. Jenna does not have a single snarky or cruel bone in her body.

  • At 5:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Mrs. B-B: You don't think that publishing a book that reminds everybody that the worst thing you can do is turn the justice system into some kind of freak show for the entertainment of the masses is significant? I do. I think they should have published the book and let readers judge for themselves, and maybe then someone will remember the next time the Trial of the Century comes up to keep the public out of it. I still don't know what the hell happened--everyone has their own story about it, including the lawyers and detectives who have all written books about it and made wads of cash. What a tragic waste of resources.

  • At 5:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I disagree. Banging some girl on a keyboard isn't morally wrong. Picking someone's pocket is breaking the law, but it is hard to feel sorry for someone who opens their pocket to let the thief slip his hand in. Sorry, it just is.

  • At 7:03 AM, Blogger Dave Kuzminski said…

    Hmmm, Anonymous at 5:29 needs to take remedial reading. Obviously Anonymous missed the common point about writers and SammyK working over a keyboard. Stealing, whether by pickpocketing or by scam is what is morally wrong.

  • At 9:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Uh, Dave, maybe you didn't make yourself too clear in that post. Aren't you supposed to be a writer? NOw that I read it again, it does kind of get your point across, but barely. Maybe I'm just obsessed with the image of keyboard sex. Could be too that I could never picture writers laboring over a keyboard for very long at one time. Ha ha. Can you tell I'm in publishing also? BTW, thanks Sammy, for saying the shit that would get me fired. What a release.

  • At 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I understand your point, Connie. I just don't think this is the book to do that. This book is part of the freak show. I don't give the general public enough credit to learn any type of lesson from that trial. The book is being marketed as a sensational piece and was probably written that way too.

  • At 1:59 PM, Blogger Julia said…


    What is this obsession you have with Miss Snark?

    In the 4 posts displayed on your blog, you mention her over 20 times.

    Do you have a crush on her?

    Or are you jealous?

    I'm leaning toward a crush, because your occasional misogynistic rants are a bit overdone. I think that is just a cover up.

    You're really just a big sweatheart with a crush, aren't you? Come on, you can tell us!

  • At 6:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think Sammy has a crush on a lot of women, don't you? More like every woman!

  • At 1:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Nice to see you posting with more frequency, SammyK

  • At 2:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Puhlease, Sammy ain't had pussy since pussy had him.

  • At 5:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Julia, I don't think Sammy is jeolous of Miss Snark..or in love with her. I think Sammy feels like maybe she should get a life..maybe. She's suppose to an agent and I pity all of her clients. A real agent, if she has an sales at all, would be working deals rather than spending every waking moment working on her blog. I'd hate to even try to calculate how many hours that must take, hours she should be devoting to those who put their trust in her to get them published or get them a better deal than they could get on their own.

  • At 5:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dave, when you say, "Our group," just who are you referring to? I never see your name mentioned anyware. They are hogging all the credit, my man and you have been left out in the rain to shrink. Anytime I see anything published about those who are watching writer's asses, it's always the terrible three--Jenna, Ann and Victoria. Actually I think they think all MEN are scammers.

  • At 4:27 AM, Blogger Julia said…

    Anonymous at 5:46,

    I don't buy that. Sammy spends too much time bitching about Snark.

    This is becomming an anti-Snark blog. Why would he care? He obviously doesn't care about protecting wanna-be writers. But he feels it necessary to attack Snark in many of his posts.

    I think there's another reason.

  • At 8:31 AM, Blogger Dave Kuzminski said…

    Lil' Stinker, what you see and what I see are vastly different. The other watchdog sites and P&E are not in competition with each other. We share ideas. We share information. We're slowly putting some scams out of operation. In fact, I believe we've had as much impact as the authorities have in the past two decades, if not longer, by actively educating writers about scam operations and how to avoid those.

  • At 6:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    God I hate that self-absorbed an self-promoting Jenna cunt from Absolute write. Even looking at her stupid picture makes me want to hurl.

    Strngely enough the one time I started at thread about Snark's identiy Jenna swooped in and declared that the thread was inappropriate.

    In two days she deleted and canceled my temporary account.

  • At 2:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Just thought you'd like to know that open-publisher Lulu.com has made a huge leap towards becoming the world's biggest bookstore by adding traditonally published titles to their global marketplace. You can see the announcement by Lulu CEO Bob Young here: http://lulublog.com/2010/04/12/message-from-bob/


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