A Gent's Outlook

A Literary Agent Divulges the TRUTH about Publishing

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Yah Rah, You Editor Prick

So the heated response to my last post is supposed to phase me, eh? Well, it didn’t. Wannabes don’t make me wannabe a better man; they are just publishing’s black holes. What did piss me off, though, was a little note I got from an editor. A snot-nosed, spoiled rotten, ridiculous editor who cheered me on because wannabes make his job soooooooo hard.

What job, Mr. Important, would that be?

Would that be sitting at your desk and acting like you know how to acquire good books? Would that be staying awake in meetings? Would that be not belting the marketing shit who has no idea what’s been going on with a book, but he just knows that its publication might make him have to actually do some work so he gives it a big ol’ thumbs down? And it’s the book that was going to get you noticed by the nice, big-tittied senior editor doll who claimed she could “help your career if you could find her something she ‘needs’”, right? Grow up, you sniveling half-beatnik twit, and read your job description. Every good editor I have ever known has read his job description, and then gone ahead and done a helluva job despite its constraints. Real editors don’t go to meetings; they spend days hooking up talent and making great books happen. These lowlifes who sit around and offer criticism and advice to lowlife wannabes are decoration and enhanced gatekeepers. The real editors with any power at all are busy, and they aren’t looking at queries. They are looking at my shit, dipshit.

So, if you are an editor who thinks you are beleaguered by the writer riff-raff, remember that most of you ask for it. Maybe you don’t know it yet, but the big boys and girls are playing on a different floor, although there are, admittedly, a few editors still in the trenches somewhere fighting to make publishing what they want it to be. These few brave souls will soon leave the industry, some in straight-jackets, others under a garbage truck load of queries from desperate emotionally needy people who don’t understand why their book is being discriminated against because they are idiots. If you were to ever get to my level, Mr. Important Editor, which would only happen if a catastrophic event killed off the entire human population except you, you would find that you would have to know how to do something besides complain about the wannabes lower on the wannabe food chain that you exist on. When you figure this out, you will realize that you are as much of a wannabe editor as wannabe writers are wannabe writers, and you have no business in this business. Publishing is for grown-ups, poo-poo head, so get off the blogs and edit some shit. I don’t need a cheering section like you.

1 Comments:

  • At 11:05 PM, Blogger Lady M said…

    If you were to ever get to my level, Mr. Important Editor, which would only happen if a catastrophic event killed off the entire human population except you, you would find that you would have to know how to do something besides complain about the wannabes lower on the wannabe food chain that you exist on. When you figure this out, you will realize that you are as much of a wannabe editor as wannabe writers are wannabe writers, and you have no business in this business. Publishing is for grown-ups, poo-poo head, so get off the blogs and edit some shit. I don’t need a cheering section like you.

    LMAO!

    Seriously, is it really "that" bad up there?

    Should I feel glad I'm in a far away land - distant from the egocentric flurry of activity?

    Should I feel content to know that I will never see that type of cut-throat reality?

    SammyK - a new world opens for you:

    REALITY TV: "THE REAL PUBLISHING INDUSTRY"

    Think about it. :P

     

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