A Gent's Outlook

A Literary Agent Divulges the TRUTH about Publishing

Monday, November 21, 2005

What Happens When Sammy Doesn't Get Laid

I will tell you what happens: He spends the weekend beating his keyboard to respond to comments. Here is the first of many to come...

Dave Kuzminski wrote...Interesting remarks. I noticed that you didn't mention that one of the major problems in the industry is that any schmuck can start a site with the intention of scamming writers.I agree that one of the major problems in the industry is that any schmuck can start a site to help writers as you and I are clearly trying to do. But if we don't, then who? There is no federal agency riding herd. We can't rely upon state attorney generals. That leaves us, doesn't it?

Yes, Dave, and any schmuck can also become a fucking watchdog or start a porn site (not that I have, mind you, Wife #3 wouldn’t go for it…bitch). As far as helping writers, that’s not my purpose as anyone who has read my blog knows. My purpose here is to vent. Besides, many of the writers who read either of our sites are, as far as I’m concerned, beyond help.

As far as federal agencies and state attorney generals riding herd, who cares? They get paid for such things, and apparently they don’t see a problem. If you keep doing their job for free, why should they even bother with it? Maybe they are tracking down people like Ken Lay and his buddies, or maybe they are busy protecting their covert identities in case Dick Cheney/Karl Rove (Honestly, have you ever seen them in the same place at the same time? Have you?) decides he doesn’t like them. Most of the scammers you identify are small potatoes compared to the filthy pigs who scam for a living raking billions off of people through identity theft, corporate fraud, money laundering, insider trading and other scams people can’t avoid or have no control over.

The federal authorities don’t have a lot of time to deal with people who get scammed because they let their need to be someone special overrule their common sense. I would much rather my tax dollars pay to rescue someone’s little girl from the clutches of a dirtbag than to have some egotistical, sniveling writer who should have known better get his/her $200 back. I know what you are going to say, and it is true…I am way more full of expletives than sympathy.

That’s Sammy, baby.


  • At 7:34 PM, Blogger Dave Kuzminski said…

    Well, gee, I'm glad we have that cleared up that you're not trying to help writers. Clearly, I had too high an opinion of you.

  • At 3:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Jesus fucking Christ, people! Help writers? Help writers what? Are you going to write their goddamn books for them? That's the only way you can help writers. Have you never heard of personal responsibility? What the hell happened to that?

    When I started as an agent, writers did what anyone in any profession would do--they trained, got degrees, did internships, put up with rotten micro-managing bastards, slept with professors to get recommendations for fellowships and grants...my God, has the world gone mad? I will never understand how someone can wake up one morning and think, aha, I wanna be a dumbfuck writer and get paid shit--but my kids will love and respect me!

    Jesus fucking Christ!

    Fuck you,

  • At 9:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Are all agents arrogant, self absorbed, low life, ball licking, scum bags with God complex's like yourself and Marley? If it wasn't for writer's what would you guys be doing? Sitting around the office playing with your dick saying to yourself "My God, it is so big".

    Are writers hard to work with? Yeah, some are. But you know what? It is their work that brings in the money. You guys may seal the deal with the publisher but the customers sure the hell aren't out there buying your books. All the money coming in is from the author, they are making the money, not you. If you hate writer's so much then maybe give all your writers this website and let them read this and see how long they stick with you.

    Marley, just so you know, you cant sleep with your profesor in this day and age. You get kicked out of school for that. We can't just spread our legs or slip our dick in and get a free ride like some of you guys did. We have to work for it.

    Did you just wake up one morning and think I wanna be a dumbfuck agent and work with dumbfuck writers? Everybody has that moment where they realize they want to do something, it's called an epiphany you dipshit.

    Have I been working at my craft? Yes, for the past 7 years. Am I at the point I need to be? No. I'm not at the point where I would even try to get an agent yet. As much as I like my works I would never say they are the best things ever written or call anyone stupid for turning them down. You guys are lumping all writers into the same category, maybe we should do that with all agents.

    Have a good day assholes.



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