A Gent's Outlook

A Literary Agent Divulges the TRUTH about Publishing

Saturday, September 10, 2005

The Numbers Game

I love a good mystery. There is nothing that’s more intriguing than a mysterious woman. This is especially true if that woman happens to be powerful. Being a romantic, I’m always excited by those women who hold their heads high and thrust their chest’s out—even if it is a 32A.

Here we all are, all us secret agents with all our little bloggie-poos, informing wannabes about all the rights and wrongs of publishing. I wonder how many more will join this cerebral gush. I can envision a day when we will have a big coming out party. Won’t that be fun? We can serve coffee and cake, beer and pizza, or salsa and chips for the more adventurous.

It’s got to happen, you know. That’s how it works on blogs. You have to have mystery as well as information. People go to car races to see a great wreck. Writers come to blogs to see cat and dog fights. So, fellow agent bloggers, we are going to have to do the spectacular or we’ll fail to be visited.

I say let’s meet and have an tryst and post the pictures. No? Paris Hilton did it. I mean, I’ve been married three times, what the hell? What do you say, Agent 007? Any other takers? How about you Miss Snark? Mad Max?

6 Comments:

  • At 7:23 PM, Blogger Fran said…

    ...Actually, if you do the spectacular, I'll probably stop visiting here. I'm not really interested in "who anyone is." You could turn out to be Shakespeare, and I wouldn't give two shits. (On the other hand, if you're Ian Somerhalder, will you marry me?)

    I probably can't accurately speak for other people, but I don't read blogs looking for fights. I like listening to people vent and then discuss the venting. Most people are at their funniest and most interesting when they're venting or commenting on someone else's venting.

    But don't worry: IMO, lots of writers seem interested in who you all are--the agent/insider blogs are often really busy, and I think it's largely because most writers hanging at them hope they'll be discovered. Yes! Somebody needs to say it. I'm tired of all the brown-nosing I see going on; what a pathetic bunch of my-ass-cheeks-are-always-spread masochists some writers seem to be.

    If you or any of the other supposed insiders blog because you've got a god-complex and you want writers to kiss your ass, sorry, but it ain't happening from my end. I hate the term "wannabe." I'm not a "wannabe." I'd rather be called a "neverwas" or even a "neverwillbe." But don't insult me by implying I'm clueless with the wannabe label. I think blanketly calling the people who read your blogs names is, like, not nice. But then what do you give a shit what I think? The perpetual ass-kissers looking to be "discovered" will probably let you all get away with name-calling--AND keep coming back for more.

    I coined the term "fair-weather fans" on my blog; I'm getting tired of that phenomenon in all its variations. So many people are such phonies, it seems.

    So, if you blog because you're really looking for "wannabe" groupies, I hereby stop reading, which sucks because there aren't that many places left for me to read! Oh well.

     
  • At 5:02 PM, Blogger SammyK said…

    Come on Fran, don't be angry. I'm just yank'n chains and haven' fun. Don't believe everything you read on blogs. I don't align with any one group. Agents piss me off, as do editors, and writers, especially wri-tas, you know those types who only smoke pipes and know everything even though, if you really know them, know nothing. If you go to the writer boards you meet lots of that type. All my clients don't have time for that swill--they are way too busy learning or profecting their craft--or raising a family--or just having fun, you know, living,like. So hang around awhile, the real fun has not yet begun. *wink*

     
  • At 6:04 PM, Blogger Chuck Dawson said…

    Fran,
    Hey man, your comment hit home, man!
    I mean, WOW, man! I think I just filled the cup!

    Sammyk,
    nice save, man. NOT!

     
  • At 10:20 PM, Blogger Fran said…

    Sammy, writing is the most unfun thing I've ever done. I don't find anything fun about writing overall. I went to a writer's conference once--that was the only time I ever had writing-related fun. One time. In over 12 years. Disgusting.

    Frankly, at this point, I just hate writing. To me, all it is is work, work and more work. Every damn day of my life now, I regret I ever started down the writing path, but I can't seem to get off the path no matter how hard I try. I'm pretty much burnt out, to a crisp. You've been talking to my ashes.

    I know you're supposed to be venting, but your posts still often come off like you only want other insiders reading here--or like that's who you'd rather talk with. I understand if that's your preference, as those people may be at the same level/place as you are; talking to people at other levels may be boring (and then there's that annoying groupie shit I discussed). On the other hand, I now wonder if maybe you're just a writer trying to get the attention of those insiders, trying to be "discovered." I'm not sure. Me, believe everything I read on blogs???? Most days, I barely believe I exist in the Universe.

    Anyway, I'll leave you to your venting. I'll probably continue reading here, but I probably won't comment anymore. Take care.

    Cortez: I'm not sure why my comment wowed you, but thanks for being wowed. And take care to you too!

    Fran

     
  • At 10:35 AM, Blogger SammyK said…

    Cortez--man! haven't you noticed, man, she's a woman--man. Thanks man, i really appreciate it--man--I think anyway--whatever.

     
  • At 10:44 AM, Blogger SammyK said…

    Fran,
    In response to your second post:

    Everyone else, all the agents, writers and the whole veggie soup of so called insider bloggers are giving advice. Advice is like opinion and assholes, everybody has one. So my best advice is not to come here for advice. I may share a little here and there--as on my fictional workday post--don't I wish--and and a couple of others (everyone has a weak moment) but mostly what I try to do is poke fun at those who are giving so called information. Information, if not kept frozen, spoils fast. I'd rather write about things that interest me--women, wine, and great song.

     

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