A Gent's Outlook

A Literary Agent Divulges the TRUTH about Publishing

Saturday, August 06, 2005

It’s Not the Size, but How You Use It

Any woman will tell you that it’s a waste for a man to have a huge pecker and not know what to do with it. Technique is at the root (no pun intended) of getting the most out of any tool. No technique, no satisfaction. You might as well leave the pecker at home and send a finger in its place. Also, knowing where to go to get your tool noticed is vital; otherwise, you’ll be sitting at home playing with your tool all by yourself. This also applies to writing. Beautiful prose a novelist does not make. No, Shakespeare did not say that, Sammy did. Another way of looking at this, from an agent’s point of view this time, is no technique or business sense, no sale.

If you aren’t getting the connection, here it is: Lots of people are born with God-given gifts, such as a long pecker, big titties, high IQ, great sense of style, tact and diplomacy, strong back, good cross-stitch skills, ability to run a mile in 10 seconds, writing talent, talent for decorating houses, and on and on. However, even if you have a talent for writing, that doesn’t qualify you to be a published novelist. How’s that? What? That’s right. It takes talent and the skill to do something with that talent, plus business sense to get your talent where it needs to be. So, to put it in laymen’s terms, you have to know where to go to meet girls and then you actually have to be able to use your big pecker to please them. Otherwise, no return engagements.

Readers are no different.


  • At 5:36 AM, Blogger Bernita said…

    The sub-text of all this is, I suppose, that some people may write exceedingly well, in critiques, essays, short stories, but cannot put it together in a novel.

  • At 12:24 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    To me it seems like he's saying hone your craft and understand your market very well so that you can use your craft to please your market. Martha Stewart said something similar last night on the Apprentice. I agree.


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